Blogging the Solo-Parenting Days

At 5 a.m. today, Christopher left on a 3-day business trip. He doesn't travel for work much--only once or twice, I think, since Julia was born--and this is the first time I'll be alone with Julia for more than 1 day. Now that she is the age that she is, and is no longer a.) nursing around the clock; b.) refusing to sleep; and/or c.) as super-dependent and helpless as a younger baby is, this wouldn't normally be such a big deal. Except, as you know, I am 7 months pregnant and am really, really tired during this pregnancy--WAY more tired than a normal person. As much as I treasure my days with Julia, right now I LIVE, even more than usual, for 4:30 p.m. when I am "off duty" (aside from cooking dinner, which is my job in our household). In the evenings, Christopher takes over childcare, and I can exercise, read, bathe, or, more frequently, nap or lie comatose on the couch until falling into bed. The only days I feel even halfway normal are the ones during which I drink some caffeine, hence my inability to give up caffeine during this pregnancy. Even then, I often feel physically sick from tiredness and have more than once called C. at work to beg him to get off a little early because I don't think I can keep my eyes open any longer.

So, you know, I'm a little worried about how these next 3 days are going to go. Here's how it's gone so far. At about 3 a.m., I get up and turn off the ceiling fan in our bedroom, despite how hot and stuffy it is, because the chain has been clinking the light fixture and keeping me awake for the past hour. At 4 a.m., I get up and pull the room-darkening shade all the way down to obscure the semi-light coming in from the huge sky outside our open window, again despite how stuffy it is in our room, because the light is keeping me awake too. The cacophony of bird-sounds that makes it sound like we live on the edge of a jungle instead of a farmfield has begun. At 4:30 a.m., C.'s alarm goes off for his flight to NYC. Naturally I lie awake the whole time he is showering and preparing to leave, because I am the world's lightest sleeper. At 6 a.m., still awake and being serenaded by the birds, thunder begins. I curse the noise and hope it doesn't wake up Julia. At 7 a.m., I apparently have dozed off because I awaken to the sound of what I think is Julia peeping over the baby monitor. Since I absolutely detest having her wake up before me and thus not having time to brush my teeth, wash my face, etc., before attending to her pathetic morning whimpers of, "Mama coming....Daddy coming....Mama coming too!", I jump out of bed for the day, realizing that I have gotten, oh, maybe 5 hours of sleep total for the night, and realizing that tonight, after a day of playtime and dinner, I will be the one doing bath, stories, and bedtime, and wondering where I will get the energy.

Currently, it is 7:30 a.m., Julia is still asleep (guess I misinterpreted those peeps on the baby monitor) and I'm enjoying my first (and, I promise, I'll try for only) shot of caffeine for the day. If it's not needed today, when by God is it needed?

Luckily, I have a diversion to look forward to today: Julia and I are meeting some friends--another mom and her toddler--downtown for dinner tonight, because her husband is also out of town. And on Friday, we are driving up to our old neighborhood in the city to visit friends for part of the day. Hopefully these things will keep me stimulated enough to stay awake these next 3 days as needed! Wish me luck.